When I walked along the absurdly boring chaotic railway platform, the journey seemed to be never ending. It was the adrenaline flow of returning home from a tiring day at college. Rather I guess that was courtesy hunger.

In relation to the things occurred at college today, there were thoughts in my lonesome mind. I feared how the scenario would turn out to be at home. It was the first time this had happened after all! I had failed! Failed in the year of academics!

Who was to be blamed? For my sweet consoling friends- it was the biased system of education running at college.. “the teacher doesn’t like you yaar!” , for my teachers- it was my insincerity... for my parents – it was their daughter with whom their hopes lied in the cardiac muscle [ i.e.; heart .. come on ! I’m a science student allowed to use the terms], but for me, it was ME!

Elaborating every detail that had happened through the year I went on toward the rickshaw stand, [in the queue the life lies!] I was scared, unnerved and waiting for one pious moment. “ A failed woman you are miss!” , would be my interviewer’s reaction in future , I thought. “ Do you have suicidal intentions??” , spoke the other thought in my mind! I shooed it by listening to, “madam, chalna hai na??” , by the rickshaw driver. Finally my den was approaching. This was the premiere moment where a loser enters home.

Using the keys, I got in. I dint want to delay it anyway so I rushed in. I found my mother and stood in front of her, silently, exasperating. There struck a strange understanding between us. “Some tea?” , she asked. Denying the offer I moved towards her and showed her the report card. Filmy moment I felt. But obviously seriousness had creeped in deteriorating that other comforts in life which I’ll have to give up now. This was it! All that I cared about. After a brief moment she completed going through it carefully. I saw the glimpse of a never happening site. That pearl in her eye. She came forward and……..hugged me!!

I could barely take it! Come on! I had failed! Mom slap me! I was getting mad!!! I cried too. She looked at me and said the most beautiful words ever.“I never liked studies myself. I hated examinations. Those yawns during studies haunted me forever. But for you, I had a dream. With you I wanted excellence. Never stopped you with anything just because I knew, you are destined to shine. This is not forgiveness, this is encouragement, mind you! Tomorrow I don’t want you to miss out on my name in credits when you achieve that big name. I failed in my first attempt too. If you think failures can’t excel and have no power to do anything, you are mistaken! That thought would have never made me a teacher I am today! You can do it!

“ p.s.: Encouragement [not failure] is the stepping stone to success

Edu-phobic

The question of TO BE or not to be does remain in many minds... i mean here it's with my so called title.. its simple as it says "Edu-Phobic!".

Its not from no where does this topic come up by the way.. A student surviving board exams is like a lubricating war.. friction between the mayhem caused by marks and the victory of not being satisfied! Here if its the toppers reading my blog its the victory of satisfaction NO DOUBT![but at what cost... only you know right!]

Duh everyone is aware about the 'Tough' situation a student undergoes [yak yak yak...] thruought the year... but no one knows who causes it!! "Oh my God.. 10th naa??? 12th naa???? study well ah" are d common words hitting above d pinna , I say, Oh thank you aunty i was just waiting for these words of inspiration from you! mmmmmuah..! hehe..

Smothering lives... for some they work because they have been promised a cell phone by parents... while d richer class gets a car... ooooooo! but the ones under the street lights get some half a dozen rasgulla...

Pappu pass ho gaya.. this innocent -as it seems- humour has hurt so many pappus who knows..?! The other day i read this hoarding put up by the DNA news paper... "80% yet no admission, is YOUR child a failure???.. interact with our DNAists" Wow that certainly does'nt hurt sentiments or inculcates rage in you!! [or does it?!]

"Aapne admission SECURE kahaan kiya hai?? course karna door ki baat hai.. leke rakkho na .. refund milega"... how many of us here are actually doing what we want to and not what we got??

I have a friend of mine [wont name coz of offensive reasons] who asks her parents "you people cant even pay 25 lakhs for my admission??? What kind of parents are you???"... after listening to this i certainly think even if they are capable enough they shouldn't waste it!

Its a tremendous pressure even if u score extraordinarily.. and the ones who dont , all they can do is think that their life is OVER!!

IS there a solution to it??? maybe! or yes??? All you can do is SUPPORT yourself and get what you want!! Man.. its you who is goin to earn the living out of your job,,, so it has to be you who will decide... why worry then?? scored less?? its for the good , trust me... you have kinda lesser options to select.. !! ND THEY MAYBE better! :)

Signing off,
Tanvi Joshi.